Let’s Try to Negotiate — April 29, 2016

Let’s Try to Negotiate

Since I effectively dropped the class. I was thinking maybe I should show up to a class I’m not a part of anymore anyway. I can’t really explain what happened. I can’t say the reason that I really dropped it. It would sound so stupid and petty. Well to the teacher and my classmates anyway. Maybe I’ll see if I can negotiate something. I really feel bad about my scene partners. Only them not the teacher or that annoying guy. I have to keep telling myself why I wanted to drop it in the first place.

I should have just trusted my gut and dropped the class when I got really frustrated with it in late March or even early April.

I have a really kick ass blog I’ve been working on, but for some reason can’t seem to get it out.


Face/Heel Turn with some Tweener in Between — April 27, 2016

Face/Heel Turn with some Tweener in Between

If the title makes no sense to you it’s wrestling fan jargon.

I can get a cheap pop by cutting a promo in class in saying “It’s great to be here in theater class again!”.

There was this guy sitting in front of me on the bus to school with overly gelled hair. I mean like Vic the Slick or Schemer from Shining time Station. There’s a bit of PBS nostalgia for you! I was afraid that the bus would suddenly stop and my face would hit this guy’s overly gelled hair. If it would have I would have screamed. A face full of hair gel?

I got my paper back from Poli Sci and it was a good grade it was an 89 that is a high B! I got marked down for a few minor things. I really need to find that book to write better papers. He complemented me on my writing. Perhaps I still got it. So I essentially have a B in there right now which is way better than the grade I was getting the last time I took it. If I calculate my paper plus the test I already took in there my grade averages out to 85.5.

I had to take an essay test in class. I figure I’d get my results by the end of the semester. I hope I did well that my answers were well thought out and succinct. The test was sort of like more about understanding concepts than regurgitating facts. It was not that hard or at least I thought it wasn’t. I never like to be the first person to turn in a test. Only because I was told back in junior high or some time around then that the first person to finish their test either has an “A” or an “F”. Is that really a thing? I forgot the gum! I took the test without the gum. I can’t stand that gum it was making me gag! I think I’m going to throw it out.

When I went looking for the department head’s office. I met this lady who complemented my Hello Kitty backpack.  I let the lady poke the plush Hello Kitty bow on the backpack. She showed me to the department head’s office. Thank you Hello Kitty! ^-^

The department head told me she understands that it’s hard to find what you need. All I need to know is what counts for the classes I took at other schools and have I really worked towards any degree? And what else do I need to take there to finish up?

After all that I decided to leave. Why should I stay there? I dropped the other class.

When I thought about it there are a few snags in my plan. First I have Poli Sci with one of the people from my theater class, and I sit near the guy. I’m having a hard time trying to find places I can loiter at for an hour or 2.

The teacher should really check her roster again which I recommend she should. Or she would have noticed that I dropped the class last week. I wonder if she’ll notice by next week? The last day to drop is Friday April 29th. She would be well advised to check her updated class roster next week at least during the first week of May. I assumed this on Monday, but the text I got from one of my scene partners confirmed it! The text said something like are you ok you have not come to class for a week. How can I get in trouble for a class I dropped? I mean attendance wise? If I officially dropped it wouldn’t my attendance not matter anyway? I’m having a hard time trying to wrap my mind around this. What should I do just show up to class Larry David style? Or go to class and perform the scene with them and then leave. I really don’t want to say why I left. It’s a “bad/silly” reason I’m not a diva. I just don’t like teacher’s pets and rude people. Why did I have to give my real number?! I should give a standard fake like Elaine from Seinfeld did and give a number to some betting place.

I went back to that corner store by the library to get a teryaki jerky slab. When I walk into the store it’s pretty barren. The owner shoos me out! I saw people coming in and out of there. How was I supposed to know it was closed or something? There was no sign on it that said something like “store closing” or anything like that. Now where am I going to go to get my jerky slab fix?! Too bad too I had my mouth all set for a jerky slab. 😦 Checked yelp and it says the place is not closed yet. Maybe I should go by there in like a month and see what happened to the place like if it is all boarded up or something like that.

Then when I was walking back to the bus stop I got a compliment on my Pinky and the Brain shirt. I get a lot of complements on that shirt when I wear it.

I was thinking maybe I do want a Tony or an Oscar, but not for acting but for script writing. Plus I’ve been on a creative feedback high I also got a complement on my artwork ♥0♥

I’m not sure how long or if I want to keep this up. I think I have to for at least another week because my dad is taking a week off of work. >o< That is going to be fun!


Sleepy Shark — April 25, 2016

Sleepy Shark

I was feeling lethargic before I woke up. I was not feeling it. I didn’t sleep well.

When I was in Poli Sci I just wanted to lay low in class no talking or anything. Being lethargic really helped. Which is bad because we are having a test on Wed. and I have not even really studied for it. Well besides the notes I had used from my old class and the supplemental material I found online for the movie. I mean I get the concept of the movie, but it’s hard to remember all the different people, and organizations involved.

I went to a very horrible fast food place that I wrote a scathing review of on yelp.

After all the craziness I got myself into I’m not sure of I want to say that I dropped the class. I’m not sure though because my dad is taking some time off work next week and I’ll have to keep up this charade for a month. I hope I didn’t get sick from those disgusting bathrooms I had to use.

Buzzr started Card Sharks week today. It’s Eubank’s version Card Sharks. I used to watch that version as a kid. I usually take a nap when I get home, but I knew if I took a little nap I would sleep through the show.


When Doves Cry — April 22, 2016

When Doves Cry

I was going to post this yesterday but I forgot. Plus I had an embarrassing accident. I’m not that hurt or anything. I’m just sore. I fell.

If my dad wants to do a music tribute to Prince I’m pretty sure none of us have any. How could I forget about “Waiting Room”? Now is that going to be every No Doubt fans favorite song for a while? For some reason that song gets a lot of hate among the No Doubt community. That song is ok I don’t hate it or anything, but it is also like not my favorite song of theirs ever. Actually I like “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World”.

You know those hobbyists they are trying to piggy back on some event. You know if they really wanted some better PR they would try to get the people who head their big organizations to see if they could get some type of mention or something like that. Instead they pick their usual scapegoats. The ones who don’t fit their preconceived image. This is why you have such bad PR! I think they need to make their image a little more hipper. That’s why they seem to cater to old people.

Because of stress or guilt or something I’ve been having really strange dreams. I had a strange dream about Astro Boy and pizza. I had another dream about goggles.

I had a really funny idea I could just show up to theater class like George did in that Seinfeld episode The Revenge where he quits his job and comes back to work like nothing happened. I’d do that too. Larry David actually did that in real life!

If they are really desperate they can send out the milk carton guy from that Blur video to look for me.

Enjoy the Silence — April 20, 2016

Enjoy the Silence

*hums “Enjoy the Silence”* I was thinking about titling this entry “Quiet Sensation”. Speaking of that song Barry Carl wrote it, and it’s his birthday today. I thought his birthday was in May. No, that is when Sean’s birthday is. I think I got their birthday months confused. I didn’t memorize everybody’s birthday in the group former and current members.

In Poli Sci the teacher had job listings. The problem was all the jobs were in LA, the city it’s a bitch to go into from where I live. I want to live somewhere closer. Closer to Pasadena and LA. There are a lot of jobs there. If you are reading this and have no idea what I’m talking about just disregard this section. I’ll just stick to local places anyway since I can’t drive. Taking notes on the movie wasn’t so bad since I had already seen it before although it was like a year ago. Plus I had the illegible notes I tried to type up I left spaces for the words I could not read. It looked like Match Game questions. I did manage to fill out some of the words that were missing. But some are still missing and I’m not sure what I was supposed to write in the space. I had also printed out all those supplemental worksheets and movie summaries.

There was some guy walking down the stairs at school playing loud electric guitar music on a guitar. Your crappy guitar music is drowning out the Rockapella song I’m trying to listen to! How’d he amplify the music. Some newfangled device them yougins use?

What is worse than not caring? An INFP who doesn’t care. I came to the class with dead eyes. All my vigor for this class was gone.

I came into class, and did that bottom of the pile paper turning in trick. I’ve been a student for way too long! It was some crappy one page thing I wrote just to make it look like I was turning something in.

Before taking the test I was waiting for something really absurd to happen. I mean I was sort of expecting some type of “disrupting interruption”. Disrupting Interruption sounds like a good name for a band. Since she reminds me so much of my old reporter teacher. Except my reporter teacher’s problem would be that she gave us tests at the end of her lecture and she would talk so much we’d get 5-10 minutes to take a test that normally would take 20-30 minutes to complete. People complained a lot about this in her professor reviews.

Part of me wanted to be really bad and fill out the test in some annoying pen color like pink pen. I usually carry around a pink pen with me. Too bad I didn’t take a really annoying pen color like purple glitter, silver, green apple scented or neon yellow gel pens. Why waste my good gel pens on filling out a test for a class I’m going to drop? It was one of the strangest tests I’ve ever experienced. Not the material or how it was given, but what was happening around me during the test. This is saying a lot since I’ve been in college for so many years and I’m throwing in the K-12 grades in there for good measure. The silence made the teacher feel uncomfortable or something. So she starts telling us some story about an English teacher she had who would give them timed tests and talk to them during the test. She said the teacher also carried around a ruler. She said she wanted to carry a ruler too and hit it on the desk to get our attention. Wouldn’t that be slapstick? :/ Her with something else that would make her even more noisier!? It would be the opposite of the phrase “walk softly and carry a big stick.” I wouldn’t want to compare her to a former US president anyway. Then other people were just yelling out random thoughts and comments. Purely inane banter. But they weren’t answers or anything. That made me remember why I was leaving. That annoying guy said he wanted to throw fliers for the teacher’s play off the roof of a building at the school. She said she would get in trouble for having one of her students littering. I was thinking “Do it! Do it!” That would be so attention getting! I’d love to see that! And all the chaos that would follow it. Partners in crime! Having to recite a monologue from Hamlet is more taxing to me than taking a test. Usually tests don’t bother me that much. I take that back it depends on the subject. Math will make me jittery sometimes. Since I knew it was my last class in there anyway I figured I could have a devil-may-care attitude. I could have literally filled out the test with Rockapella lyrics if I wanted to. But I didn’t I wanted to make it look like I had put some effort into it even if I hadn’t. I didn’t even bother to study. I really want to know is this like the norm for acting classes is to just have people shouting random comments and thoughts all the time even during a test? I usually like written tests because I’m a nerd.

We took a break after the test. That guy was talking so loudly. He was so loud I could hear him talking from the ladies bathroom and there is a building between where he was talking and the bathroom.

That guy was telling somebody from class to go see the teacher’s play and put a camera on a hat to record it. What decade is this? That is so a 1990s pirating move. It sounds like that Seinfeld episode when Jerry had to pirate the movie. Just don’t record over the end of the play with bad dancing.

People in class were saying GoPros are like douchey cameras. I heard those were good inexpensive cameras for budding filmmakers. I’d buy one and make really horrible youtube videos. Not sure of what though. Crafts? Reviews of some sort? I was telling somebody about the GoPro video with the surfing pig. I can’t believe somebody actually wanted to hear what I had to say. But I know a surfing pig when I see it. My mom and I love that video. Well my mom loves pigs. I’ve written about Kama before. Since I love the video so much here it is again.

It was so awkward spying on this guy trying to flirt with this girl on the bus. While they were doing that I was pretending to listen to some Rockapella music. I know I read all that stuff online about being a good conversationalist. But this was pretty painful to watch. And pretty funny too. This was like their conversation:

Guy: You are very beautiful.

Girl: Thanks.

Guy: How long have you been going to (name of school)?

Girl: This is my first semester here. I went to school in some other state

Guy: When is your birthday?

Girl: January.

Guy: January birthdays are the coolest!

I mean this guy was getting nowhere with this girl. Too bad I didn’t get to see this for my scene study. It would have made a great scene.

As of posting I have dropped the class. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The only thing I really feel bad about is letting down my scene partners. We’ll just put this behind me and chalk it off as a bad idea. I got bigger fish to fry at the school anyway I need to find out about my major. Plus I’m still in Poli Sci. I guess I better clean out my backpack.

Your ears are full, but You’re Empty —

Your ears are full, but You’re Empty

There is something locally I want to do this summer related to my secret hobby, but I don’t want to say what it is because I don’t want people to make a big deal about it if I don’t do the thing I want to do. Nothing has been posted about it on the internet yet anyway. I think April is too early anyway. I think that thing I want to do happens in July I want to say mid to late July.

After everything that happened I think I really need a hobbyist mentor. I know I mentioned that before, but after feeling really soured on that class. I think that is just the thing I need. The real problem is I don’t want to quit school for it.

When I go missing they can ask what happened to me then the teacher says “JeJeJe!” I don’t know why she is talking like a character from Amachan. I’m not going missing without officially dropping the class. The longer I stay in there the bigger hole I dig for myself.

I was thinking about all those study hacks again. I remembered the one about putting your paper in google translate to check for errors. I have a half finished paper for theater class that is due tomorrow. I started goofing off and putting other things in there just to check for errors including my Carmen Sandiego fan fics. Those sounded really funny in there! Not that the grammar is very bad or anything. I just like to write the stories in chunks scene by scene so a lot of them are incomplete. Perhaps I should google translate my blog entries?


So to Hell with what You’re Thinking — April 18, 2016

So to Hell with what You’re Thinking

90s song lyrics make great blog titles!

I was hoping to get my paper back from Poli Sci. He said he took on another class. The problem is that they end up teaching like 17 classes and forget things. More classes=more money. We got into a discussion about rude proposition/petition people at the school. They are so rude I just started ignoring them. Back when I went to school in 2010 I didn’t sign some guy’s petition and he told me I supported cancer. What a fucking jerk! I ♥ my headphones. I know for a fact they are paid by the signature. It’s in the craigslist ads they use to recruit those people. It will usually say something like “$$$$$$collect petition signatures $30 per signature$$$$$$” or something like that. You can’t forget all the “$”s in the ad. Well if I can find the old entry I’ll post the link here. I’m so sick of chewing that gum. It’s making me gag. *gags*

No matter what happens with theater class I gotta get out of there by the 29th of April or I’m stuck in that class! *gulp* Until the end of the semester *gulp, gulp* Mentally I can’t handle that. I just can’t. I realized I stopped caring in late March early April. I should have left back then. My answer about how I liked that long ass play was that the sets and props were well made. That was my answer that I’m sticking to. Honestly that play didn’t do it for me and I was really stretching for something good to say about it. And it moved so slowly. My mind wandered so much during it I blocked a lot of parts out. It was that bad.

That annoying guy disrupted class by phone! It wouldn’t be a disruption by him without an elaborate story to accompany it. It just wouldn’t! People were saying about how he could do it mobile-ally. I think some of the other students share my sentiment, but for whatever reason nobody speaks up/out about it. Maybe it’s because she said not to mess with her students or she would go “mama bear” on you. Does that mean fellow classmates too? I don’t get this? Are pets on a pedestal a totally different thing? “This is my pet. Don’t fuck with them or feel my wrath!” Except you are the one who is getting fucked over by the whole thing. Plus the more and more she lets him “take control” and play favorites the more and more I hate the class. That is “theatrics!” That is what make things interesting? I think? :/ That got me thinking about teachers and professors in general, and that the ones who play favorites usually pick the ones who mirror themselves or at least that’s what I noticed from my observations from my many years of schooling. We got our scene parts which I was hoping I wouldn’t get today. I was like damn! Well I didn’t get character X; I got character Z. Kinda surprised by that one. Not that it is a bad choice. I still feel the teacher gets me and the other girl with the same name confused with each other. I don’t know how we can get confused with each other. She looks like one of the Bella Twins from wrestling and I don’t. Part of me feels that she can’t distinguish us. If she didn’t then why would I have to keep working with her? Not that I have anything against her. I seriously stopped caring. I don’t care if I become “defamed” or anything like that. Or even made an example of. I’m not looking for being cast in roles at the school.

If I really had my way I’d throw an American Idol audition gone wrong tantrum. Probably I would not do that. I’d just like to fade away like a ghost.

I’ve been so stressed I was having crazy stress dreams again and the advice I got in the dream was to do what I feel is best for me and not to lose my spirit. This seems like the kind of advice my pen pal would give me, and I always treasure their advice. *UoU*

When I was watching Amachan I was thinking I feel like Yui when she was mad because she could not go to Tokyo, had to take care of her sick father, and her mother ran off. Then she becomes upset because she can’t become an idol singer so she becomes a delinquent. So I’m not going full delinquent or anything like that.


Hurray for Everything! — April 17, 2016

Hurray for Everything!

So I had to see that play for my class. I saw a couple people from my class there watching.

The play didn’t start off too late. I noticed there was a lot of “Ooh, me accent’s slipping” here and there. During the first intermission I realized they don’t sell snacks there. That kind of soured the experience for me more.

I think the people who were sitting around me were a bit more interesting than the play itself. This one guy who was sitting next to me was really reacting to the play. Every time something would happen he would shout out in astonishment. Things like “Oh Shit!”, “Damn!” and “What the Fuck!?”. The funny thing was towards the end they were trying to figure out who the murderer was and the people in the audience were talking so loudly they were saying things like “Is it the lady or the guy?” These people were mostly in their late teens. Back in 5th grade when my class and I went to LA and went to see a play somewhere. Since we were 5th graders they taught us theater etiquette. We were uncouth 5th graders from the suburbs. It is bad theater etiquette to yell at the performers. They can hear you on the stage. It’s not like when you yell at a movie or something. I mean there were no little kids there. None that I saw. I think there might have been a disclaimer that the play was not suitable for people under 10. I have experienced this at shows that cater to families and little kids.

There were some elderly ladies who were like stereotypical elderly ladies. I know it’s bad to do that, but you should have seen them.

I was getting really bored watching it. I felt like Elaine from Seinfeld when she had to watch The English Patient. And I was thinking about the Elaine character since I saw Julia Louis-Dreyfus host SNL yesterday. If the school performs “Sack Lunch the musical”I might see it there. I had a great idea for a rock opera. No Doubt should make one. I was so bored and my mind was wandering.

I think if I would have had to take the play a little more seriously I would have taken better notes, but I could always consult supplemental material. Plus there were note moochers there. I don’t like to share my notes because they are pretty strange and well they were mostly about the audience anyway.

That play wasn’t over 2 hours! It was close to 3! Like 2:50. That upped me dropping the class to 95%. Three hours I’ll never get back from my life.

I got an email from the school that I was nominated to apply for some scholarships. (I really need to check my school email more frequently.) The problem is that it makes you go to their award ceremony if you win the scholarship. I figured what the hell at least I’ll try. See what happens and not be so pessimistic all the time.


Try to De-sour and Sweeten Too — April 16, 2016

Try to De-sour and Sweeten Too

So I’ve come to the conclusion my best route would be to save up and go to a hobbyist education program. Because obviously taking cost effective classes at the community college is not the answer. But how would I get the $3000 to pay for the hobbyist education program besides trying to win some type of lottery prize?

I thought one solution would be to get some kind of internet funding like a gofundme, kickstarter, indiegogo or some other site like that. Usually those people don’t earn enough to go. I’ll have my little donation website saying “Help me go to (name of hobbyist education program)!” And proceed to flood the internet with pleas, links, and youtube videos of me begging people to donate. I don’t understand why they always ask the other hobbyists. Aren’t you like competing against those people anyway?

I think my real best bet would be to get a summer job.

I started reading these articles about bad classes and teachers. A few things really stood out to me.


“s/he is more concerned about being liked”

I would say it’s not like a camp, but that seems to be one of her concerns. She pretends like it’s not, but I can sense that.

And this too


2. You don’t like the teacher’s style, instruction, or attitude. Again, after you have participated for at least three or four months, are not inspired, feeling the improvement, or now dislike the teacher, it is probably time to leave. This way you know you have given it the time needed to make an informed decision and an opportunity to work through the discomfort of being in a new training environment.  

3. You don’t respect the other students or teacher policies. If this is the case, you should move on to another teacher. When you research and audit always ask about the policies.”

Part of me wouldn’t care as much but it’s a class and I’m getting a grade on it.

Thinkin’ of a Master Plan — April 15, 2016

Thinkin’ of a Master Plan

You know song lyrics make such good blog titles.

After I thought about it long and hard my only real solution to all this chaos and joke of a class would be to drop it. Just cut my losses. The last day to drop is on the 29th of April. Once I realized I still had time to drop it a glimmer of hope shined in my eye. There are a few problems along the way. I had promised my mom I would not drop anymore classes after I dropped that math class. She doesn’t even know about what happened during the 1st time I took Poli Sci. Three semesters with 3 dropped classes!? Which is a pretty bad track record for me. Especially since I dropped all those classes after my 5 year absence from school. I’m 80-90% sure I want to drop it.

I just want to subtly leave. Although the word “subtle” is not in my teacher’s vocabulary. My classmates can all be “What happened to her?” I went to every class so far. It just wasn’t my bag man! I’m not getting a pardon here. *whispers* I’m not a favorite. It’s ok I’m cool with that. No matter what I do I still have to see the play since the tickets are non-refundable. Ugh! Oh well I can just have fun with it.

I thought if I do drop it; “What am I going to do with these extra 2 hours?” Should I confess that I dropped it or should I just do a little acting of my own and fake going to acting class for about a month or so. I could also spend that time looking for a job. I could use a summer job. Usually at about this time companies are looking for people anyway. Nothing full time though I’m still committed to Poli Sci which I need to pass to get out of college.

I would like to try and take another acting class under different circumstances and with a totally different teacher. People always say that if you are shy acting or improv classes will help you be more social. I feel it didn’t help much. I’m a writer at heart. I think it might have just been the class environment. I would not be opposed to taking a diction class Which I think she doesn’t teach I think it’s taught by a man.

I think there are a few things I took away from it. Oh well! It’s back to the blanket fort for me.