I have these fantasies where I just tell people off. Aside for my pleasant hanging out with celebrity dreams these are my favorites. They consist of me doing nothing more than screaming “FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”. They are probably one of the most satisfying dream types I have.

After all the “bad” things I wrote on yelp I should probably have broken legs now. You know like those old timey gangster films. I imagine when people get bad reviews they are dressed like Jigen from the Lupin the 3rd anime series. Coming after me with guns, chains, and blunt objects.
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Years ago I wrote a bad review about a business. Then recently I get a message from this person who was all butthurt about my bad review, and pretty much told me it was ok for them to suck at their job. If my review was so bad and hurtful why didn’t it bother you when I posted it FUCKING YEARS AGO!? Why is it bothering you just now? So they cry to Yelp and get it removed.

As of now I’m officially retired from Yelp.

Happy now? You got what you wanted. Don’t you feel better about yourself?

So just keep sucking at your job may many more bad reviews come your way.

(To the butthurt employee I hope you die of an incurable disease)