I was just sitting there thinking why should I still be busting my ass for a class I’m going to fail? But what should I do with my time? Should I try to be sneaky and try to write a novel during class or something? #realwritersdontdomathhomework I feel so hopeless like I let everybody down this is why I did not want to tell my extended family about needing one last math class to finish college. They were just going to make fun of me or something or throw it in my face. Maybe I can work on my new writing project? Its short less than 1000 words. I’ve been working on it since last Thursday evening.
When I fail at something I tend to get a little rebellious. So I emotionally shut down for a day or so.
My mom gets mad at me because I didn’t have a plan I did it just sort of blew up in my face.
I was just feeling all mopey and sorry for myself. When I thought “maybe I can go see a counselor or something? Maybe I need a lower level of math just to get back up to where I need to be.” I was looking at the math classes. In the course catalog.
The funny thing was I felt more confident and way better the first time I dropped the class. It was a cowardly move, but I really don’t regret it. This time since it was the last class I needed and pretty much the only thing between me and graduating. I was more delusional about my progress. Delusional with optimism. I really wanted to make it work. That if I did my life would somehow be magically better.
But I feel better now less stressed. There is some comfort that I know I’m going to fail. I can eat better and I’m not all agitated and jittery.
When I got up in the morning I had the song “Nothing” stuck in my head. It perfectly represented how I feel about class. I forgot to drink my instant coffee in the morning. I was just going through the motions.
I so wasn’t paying attention in class I was sneak writing and stuff. I was starting to feel really tired. I was half asleep in there.
More math? Less math? Different math?
So this girl starts telling me about some transfer program.
After I thought about it I did that. After class I went to get an appointment to see a counselor. What’s the worse thing that could happen?
Later in the evening I remembered what was the worse thing was, my dad.
I was thinking about this comic.