10 More Movies from 1988 — July 31, 2018

10 More Movies from 1988

1 Twins


This movie used to be shown on KTLA all the time in the mid 90s.

2 Die Hard


3 Naked Gun


4 Hairspray


5 Killer Klowns from Outer Space


I have not seen this movie, but I know I really should.

6 Colors


7 Hot to Trot


Why does this movie make me think about Francis and Mister Ed.

8 Big Top Pee Wee


I may have seen this movie I’m not sure.

9 Earth Girls are Easy


I didn’t know this was a movie title. They used it as a title for a season 4 episode for The OC.

10 Elvira Mistress of the Dark


Hey Child, stay Wilder than the Wind — July 30, 2018

Hey Child, stay Wilder than the Wind

So I went to the job offer today.

My mom was telling me about some song about coming undone, but not the Duran Duran song. Then I had that song (“Come Undone”) stuck in my head. And had a hankering to watch that video. (I love that music video it has sharks in it) Right before the job offer meeting. Well its better than feeling nervous.

There were not were not a lot if workers going through the back doors. So I looked around to see if anybody was watching and went through the doors like I worked there. Then I saw the guy I was supposed to meet with. I read his name tag. (I keep getting told I’m meeting with the wrong people) So I had to wait. *shrugs* They have a clock in there but it is broken. I wanted to check the time. I somehow opened an app instead of looking at the time. Then the guy came in. That looked bad on my part. Like I was addicted to my phone or something.

And I read the contract really quickly and the guy was surprised. I can read good and fast. When I signed it the song “Everything Counts” popped in my head. Because why not? I was told I have to read an email. (did read email)

When I got home I could have sworn I had “Come Undone” in my MP3 player. So I downloaded the song. Maybe I should start listening to them? IDK. :/

I guess all I have to do now is wait. *whistles nonchalantly*

I was also thinking about how the month is almost over. I didn’t blog as much as I wanted to, but I’m satisfied with how much I did blog. And that if I do get this job I probably won’t be blogging as much, but I don’t mind because I’ll be making money instead and I don’t make a profit off this blog it’s just for fun/self expression.

Words are Very Unnecessary — July 27, 2018

Words are Very Unnecessary

So my dad bought a The Revivalists CD. Not sure what he was thinking when he bought that. That is nothing like the music he listens to. So I went to this website http://www.musicroamer.com When I put in recommendations Fritz and the Tantrums came up. I tried Depcehe Mode too just to see what it would recommend besides their solo projects. A lot of Vince Clarke music. But then again I’m listening to Depeche Mode. *shrugs*

So I went back for the job offer. I was just waiting and being observant I don’t wanna look to anxious or stressed out or anything. That looks worse. I think I used to have that look on my face. Now I guess I just look sad or bored or something. This talkative lady comes up to me and tells me I look bored. Then I tell her that I’m waiting for the job offer. She tells me she doesn’t work for the store she is a sample person. What is with people and me not talking? Why is this a bad thing? It was not like I was non responsive.

When I was called on. I just filled out some paper work and that was it. Saw a guy waiting to be interviewed in a Pokémon shirt.

As I’m leaving the lady is yelling at me like from across the store. “Did you get the job!?” I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I had no idea where that voice was coming from. I went to her sample table. So she gave me some crackers. And I took some and left.

When I’m going home I get a call I missed it at first because my phone was on silent. I was told I did something else. I was not supposed to do or something. I’m very confused by this. What do they want me to do? So I have to come back on Monday and fill out some more paperwork and take the offer? I’m very confused and I think this reflects on the company. I would run the other way, but I’m gonna ignore it because I need the money.

Cart Before the Horse — July 26, 2018

Cart Before the Horse

I know I have not been blogging much this week. Working on that Martin birthday blog took a lot of work. I think I worked on it for more than a week. The one thing that I had hoped when I wrote it was that it did not read like it was written by somebody who was 14 years old. Isn’t that what I’m worried about a lot of the time I write things? If I had written it that way I would have read like this: “Martin Gore is so cool! I love him! *giggling*”.

I had been applying to jobs. Most of the calls I have gotten back have been for scam jobs. They aren’t even for the correct position. I applied for a telemarketing job and when I got a call back they told me it was a job where I go to stores and sell people cell phones or something.

Yesterday was really hot I holed in the living room with the air conditioner on and watched old music videos. While I was trying to watch the music video for “Enjoy the Silence”. Anyway I get a call for a job interview. (I thought this was a sign)

I was watching this video this morning.

It was about how INFPs think and other types think.

So went to the job interview today. I was shown what I would do and all the things I’d be using. I was just taking it all in; trying to process all the information. There was a lot of stuff covered. The interviewer complained that I was too quiet. 😓😡

I didn’t think it went well. Then I get a call 2 hours later telling me to come in tomorrow for a job offer. Yay! 😄

I felt inspired to buy myself a copy of “Violator”. I thought it was a sign. Plus I don’t have a copy of it. Maybe I should start off slow ease into their albums like an old man into a nice warm bath. I should get all the albums I don’t have between “A Broken Frame” and “Music for the Masses”. The last thing I bought when I worked was a Winx Club doll. Although I should not be spending money I have not earned yet. (as of posting I have not bought a copy of “Violator”)

My mom was so happy. We had a soda toast. (toasting with soda not a piece of toast with soda on it) I don’t wanna drink the day before. And I gotta keep my schedule open.

Goth on the Inside — July 23, 2018

Goth on the Inside

Happy birthday to Martin Gore! *squee!* (This is a fangirl post gushing over Martin so if you don’t want to read something like that please move along) (There is also some mopey INFP stuff too)

My new favorite singer songwriter! 😊

It’s funny to think about 4 months ago I had no idea who this guy is.

Let’s see if I can articulate my thoughts about him in a coherent manner. (I had a really hard time writing this) It reminds me of a writing class I took where they said when you talk about why you like something it reveals a lot about yourself. First I was asking myself; “Why do I like this guy and have been so drawn to him?” 🤔 Why do I like Martin so much in what I haven’t said before? I’ll think about it.

When I read these profiles on him. He seems so relatable.

I like that this one describes him as “decadent” not a word I would associate with him. A very interesting read. This would have been from around 1984. Because says he is 23.

This unauthorized biography talks about him reading books as a child. He kinda sounds like me when I was a kid. Except I spent my time writing bad Power Rangers fanfiction and listening to rap music (a deadly combination) I also like the part when he says he was so proud of the songs he wrote when he was a teenager. I feel the same way about my “novel” when I found it. 😅😄


This is an incredibly old picture of him from the 80s, but he looks so cute in this one. Look at those eyes! 😍


Here is a more recent picture of him.

I think I can best articulate my thoughts by quoting the song “Sweetest Perfection” which I interpret to be about admiration/adoration.

“I stop and I stare too much
Afraid that I care too much
And I hardly dare to touch
For fear that the spell may be broken”

“Things you’d expect to be
Having effect on me
Pass undetectedly
But everyone knows what has got me
Takes me completely
Touches me sweetly
Reaches so deeply
I know that nothing can stop me

Sweetest perfection
An offer was made
An assorted collection
But I wouldn’t trade

Takes me complelty
Touches so sweetly
Reaches so deeply
Nothing can stop me”


Not my banner, but I have to agree with it.

I think he comes off as adorable. He can be the adorable one Dave is obviously the sexy one. I think of him as being very bishonen especially back in the 80s. The search term “Martin Gore bishonen” is in my internet search history. Among other strange descriptors including his name and the word “dreamy” and “INFP”.

I admire that he is flashy and bold with his fashion choices, yet he is very reserved. You know he is communicating with his outfits.

I like that he is not afraid to show his fragility in his lyrics. In my opinion he is a superior songwriter compared to Dave. Dave’s songs are ok but not as good Martin’s. Because at first I had incorrectly assumed Dave was the primary songwriter. But then I found out it was Martin. You think to yourself “That one guy wrote that whole album?” I don’t know I think that’s pretty impressive. And he wrote multiple ones by himself. He wrote 7 of them they are; “A Broken Frame”, “Black Celebration”, “Music for the Masses”, “Violator”, “Songs of Faith and Devotion”, “Ultra”, and “Exciter”.

Don’t worry this is not my “What I’d like to do to Martin Gore confessions blog”. So if I met him I’d want to give him a great big hug. (Actually I’d like to do this to a lot of celebrities I admire not just him) A hug of gratitude? If I was feeling a little more daring a kiss on the cheek. Then tell him something he probably hears all the time like “I love your music!” or something along those lines. If I really had the opportunity I’d just like to sit down with him and have a deep conversation over some tea. There is nothing particularity perverted about that. What did you think I was going to write?

If I hadn’t been mourning the loss of the UTB block I would have not fallen down that youtube rabbit hole that ended up at the “Halo” music video. I really liked the video for “Halo” and would watch it repeatedly like more than 5 times in a row.

A few days later I was alone with my thoughts and watching baseball on tv. I like how baseball is a slow moving game, so you can be alone with your thoughts while you watch it. I was very upset mostly at myself. For a lot of things, and for some reason I was thinking about Radiohead, and the song “Creep”. I thought about how that is considered an INFP song. Then I remembered thinking about Martin Gore. I had been reading up on Depeche Mode, but not too much after I had been listening to “Halo”. And about people hypothesize his personality type the be INFP by the kind of lyrics he writes. Even if he has not said it himself explicitly I pick up strong INFP vibes from him. (that sentence was so an INFP thing to write) Let’s see; lyrical content, he speaks a few other languages, the way he dresses, he is reserved, and he reads books.

For some reason I was inspired to build an INFP playlist. (which I still have not finished)

First I started out with the singles; the hits. Of course all the ones I knew from listening to alternative radio for all those years. I just sort of dove in and started listening to their body of work. I remember I was really drawn to “Shake the Disease”. I remembered watching that video a while ago for my 80s video playlist and that I liked it because they looked like they were falling down. You know when people say “This is the one song that turned me into a fan.” I’m not sure if I could really name one song in particular besides “Halo”.

I really haven’t had a song move me that much in awhile. About 10 years to be exact which was the first time I heard “Bleed Like Me”. I felt that way after I heard “Private Life” by Oingo Boingo for the first time, but not as intense.

That math class was making me crazy. I was in a creative rut. But if I hadn’t been so frustrated with math I would have never latched onto Depeche Mode’s music. It so fit the mood I was feeling at the time; listening to their songs with topics about greed, corruption, being submissive, sadness, anger, pessimism, and being in your head too much. It was like somebody took my innermost feelings put them into words and then wrote a song about them. And that I could have those feelings too and it was ok have them. And I didn’t feel so alone anymore.

I was trying to be all cheerful and whimsical and all this stuff that was really not me and going against my nature. If you ever see me post a blog like this “The world is good! Just ate some tacos for dinner. I’m so happy!” and it is written in a non-ironic fashion either my blog was hacked or I have amnesia or something. I thought could change my personality with a potion or a magical lotion. And be super cheerful and vapidly smiling. When I’m not in touch with my feelings I feel “off”. Listening to their music really made me reevaluate my life choices. I know that sounds kinda dumb or something, but it’s true. It was like a musical epiphany. Not all of them just a few like 2 or 3.

Another thing is that I feel their music to be strangely familiar to me. Not just the songs I knew from the radio but more obscure ones.

It was so very me and very unlike me to be into. I didn’t start listening to their music to be edgy, or deep, or anything else like that. I just really like songs with meaningful lyrics.


He looks adorable with that cake.

I’m Not Okay — July 20, 2018

I’m Not Okay

So this title is like a throwback to like 2005.

I signed up with Ziprecruiter. Are they supposed to spam your inbox?

I was reading this article.https://www.altpress.com/features/list/mcr-song-personality-quiz-myers-briggs/ I got “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” :/ That is like the myspace profile song of like 2005. It made me think of the Halloweencore Goth from your scene sucks.

I finally watched all of Super 4. That was a cute little show.

I’m starting to get stressed out now that I know school is starting in a month or so. 😨😵

“This Class is Really Cool” — July 19, 2018

“This Class is Really Cool”

I took the day off from blogging yesterday. I just wasn’t feeling it for some reason. :/

So that stupid job agency keeps sending me emails for some dumb job I don’t even want. They have sent me 3 emails about it over the past 9 days.

When I got off the bus I saw one of their signs advertising their agency and I really wanted to kick it down, but there were other people around me and it would have looked weird.

I had to get to the school a half hour early but I did get some writing in\done. It’s always nice to get some writing in. It was crowded with people who were applying. All over the admissions office. I didn’t care about seeing a counselor because I already had an appointment.

All I wanted to know was if I needed to take a debate class or not. Or if I needed to take more classes for the major I wanted or not. I had no idea what was going on for a while. Every thing he was trying to explain made no sense. Which disciplines belonged to which major. I had no idea what he was trying to explain to me. That cinema is not communications, but it is. Then why is it under communications at that school? And that if I wanted that major I would need to take even more classes. The only real reason I had to go back to see a counselor was because my last appointment got cut short when the internet went out. I don’t care I was gonna say it. I don’t wanna take anymore classes I don’t need. 😫 Why was this a hard concept for him to grasp? I mean I know I need math that is not the question I was asking here. Then he takes out the paper I know that paper it’s the transfer classes paper. I have so many copies of that. The good thing is now the only thing missing is math. @o@ When he told me to sign up for the film class I don’t need all he could tell me is “This class is really cool”? I mean I was not having it. Trying to sell me stuff I don’t need. Where are we? At the mall? The car lot? I wonder if he could read that off me?

Walking to the bus stop I saw a guy with an outfit that looked like mine in jeans and a green shirt and was a little embarrassed.

Over Promise and Under Deliver — July 17, 2018

Over Promise and Under Deliver

I didn’t mention this in my Branded blog entry, but this just annoys me when people who stop producing online content then they make a “comeback” they make a lot of noise and ruckus and whatnot. “HEY EVERYBODY I’M BACK AND MAKING ONLINE CONTENT.” Then either 2 things happen either they make a big fuss and do nothing or they produce very little new content like 1 or 2 blog posts or videos or whatever format the make their content in. Then I think “You made a big deal about this?”

You make a posting calendar in June saying about all the videos, blogs, and Instagram posts you are going to make in July. All they have done is write 1 measly text post over the past month?! That was 2 sentences long?! It’s already mid-July. Where are your Instagram posts and photos? I think “I really wanna follow you and consume your content, but produce something!” 😖 Also this person is hard to contact. Maybe they got mad at people asking them for content.

So I was reading this article randomly a few days ago. It says INFPs are whimsical. I can’t say I disagree with it. Then I was telling my mom about how I want to join this somewhat exclusive group of gatekeepers. Or take down the group. “Take down” is such a harsh phrase. Ok make a counter group. But when I think about those people and their groups with their superficial rules. (those hobbyists) It just gets me so angry, and stuff. Like I have to fight against it or be a champion or something like that.


It makes me think of this lyric. I didn’t realize it was from a song until my dad was playing it aloud. I found it as a quote on pinterest. Which was a lyric to a song “Heaven and Hell”.

I’m so metal! (throws up the horns)


Watched the MLB All Star Game today. Joe Buck botching players’ names and calls is the best part.

My 2nd try at Course 1 AKA “Curse 1” — July 15, 2018

My 2nd try at Course 1 AKA “Curse 1”

In the winter quarter of the 8th grade they said we could take Integrated Course 1 AKA “curse 1” but if we did we had to finish the rest of the class in summer school at the high school. But it was freshman level math. This was my 2nd attempt so I was worried since it didn’t go well the 1st time. But I had a different teacher. If I did not I would have to take it a 3rd time. But I decided to take it and say goodbye to anything fun. (including No Doubt music, the Loveline radio show, and late night tv shows) If I remember correctly I didn’t used to do my math homework on Thursday nights to watch the last season of Seinfeld.


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My first day of summer school was on July 6th. My rival decided to drop the class after 4 days. Which made me want to take and finish the class even more. We were more rivals in junior high than in high school. Although I did run into her because our last names started with the same letter. When the school would group the students by grade and last name I would always be stuck with her. 😑

So there was this annoying girl and for the blog lets call her “Fern”. She was one of the most of annoying people in our grade. It’s really hard to describe her if you did not have the pleasure of knowing her. (and if somebody who happened to know her back then and reads this will probably know who I’m talking about) She was very “out there”, and she had poor social skills. I think she thought we were friends or something. I did try to befriend her, but she was just too annoying. I don’t like to tell people they are annoying to their face because I don’t like when it happens to me. So I avoided her as best I could for 6 years. People should not have been so mean to you, but you needed to cool it girl! She would play with and pet people’s hair. It was very hard to escape her when she would see you and stand near you she would tightly grab your arm. She was always drawing attention to herself in some way. By either singing loudly randomly for no reason, randomly sexy dancing, and telling people about her breasts. When she would get excited she would make high pitched squealing noises. She also did this weird “sexy dance”. It’s hard to describe with words it was something that had to be seen to be believed. Many of her “sexy faces” looked like somebody in pain making a duck face. After being around her for a while I wanted to draw even less attention to myself. Usually I do try to act low key, or at least I try to be. Even if you were standing near her and she was being annoying you’d get weird looks too from the other people around you who were annoyed by her. Honestly I wonder what she grew up to be like as an adult? 🤔

The lunches they served were horrible, but they were free for anybody (for the summer lunch program) so my mom told me to eat them. I was at the school anyway. I’d go to class when it was over I’d eat lunch there and then go home. They mostly served cold food like sandwiches. I remember it was the first time in a long time I ate a sandwich crust. The only reason I did was because I didn’t want the other girls I was eating lunch with to think I was being wasteful with food. Now I eat sandwiches with the crust all the time. Although one time I think I ate a chicken empanada.

I used to walk home through this corridor shortcut where usually there would be goth teens there hanging out smoking clove cigarettes. But in the summer they were not there. When I would walk home I would end up meeting people. It was very strange. They were other teenagers and nothing bad happened to me.

I remember Fern brought her own personal fan.

My friend, Kelly who was taking the class with me was scared of all the tall people? I didn’t really care. I figured most of the people at summer school were troublemakers who had to make up classes they failed. Or just people who failed their classes. I didn’t really feel scared taking a summer school class at the high school. I figured I was going to be there in a few months attending high school anyway. There were a lot of punk looking people there. I didn’t mind most of this stuff at all. I was more terrified of the math. I think I was more scared about the academic side of high school than the people who were attending it. Well I was worried about how cool I looked to the other students. (which is something I still struggle with today)

A trio of girls wanted to start a singing group this was when acts like All Saints and the Spice Girls were popular. At first there were only 3 members Fern and 2 other girls. I thought it was more practical to start a ska band. The problem with Fern was that she would sing at the other members. (but this was how she was all the time she would sing at you singing group or not that’s just how she was) All they ever did was write love songs. Fern wrote 5 songs and they were so her with scary themes.

I realized there were pages and pages of entries about that girl group. I guess I liked the drama it brought. After they formed that group there is very little of me writing about the actual math class and the assignments and such.

I didn’t want to join because of Fern. But I didn’t want to outright say that to avoid conflict. It’s why I made that strange demand for the tweed dress. I’m not exactly sure what my role was or what I was providing for them.  I was not a performing member. I didn’t sing. A business aspect? I think I was their manager or something; with my abbreviated knowledge of the music industry from reading books and magazines about musicians. I did help by holding everybody’s bag while they took group photos. They liked the idea of having a photoshoot.

Eventually they recruited Kelly and another girl. Which made the member total to 5. One week one of those “talent agencies” sent junk mail about a talent search or something like that. They were sent out to like everybody under 18 in the area. It was telling you to go to some big hotel and audition for this talent agency. The girls wanted to sing as a group at their audition. Some of the girls got very nervous and sick over this. Eventually they decided not to go. I’m not exactly sure what they thought that junk mail was. Their big break?

Every time they would try and record a song at somebody’s house Fern would talk about her breasts. Or she would sing so loudly over the other members. I’m not really sure I was not there to witness it. I was getting second hand information from other members complaining about it to me. Kelly told me 30% of their songs were good. Fern wrote a song about Sailor Moon. Fern said their album was going to sell 8 million. I was curious to hear what they recorded.

Two of the girls quit the group after 2 weeks, and they eventually disbanded before summer school was over.

Fern told me she wrote a song called “Die” she said it was a heavy metal song and that it would sell in Germany and France. I remember the song making no sense. Fern told me she wrote songs everyday. So prolific!

When I look back on it; their story sort of reminds me of the group Fingerbang from South Park.

Besides the singing group I was also preoccupied with my virtual dog. The one who lived over 160 days had died a while ago. The pets that succeeded it were short lived. I think that most of these other pets lived was about 20 days. They had really silly names. I liked to name them after musicians. The other kids would make a big deal when these other short lived dogs died. I was too embarrassed to take my virtual dog with me when I started my freshman year.

My obsession for Squirrel Nut Zippers candy was still going strong.

I did say I was doing well on the quizzes, and the Kelly’s mom was paying her to go to summer school. I passed with a “B” (88%) so I was happy. I think that was the highest math grade I ever got in high school.

For the last day of class we watched the movie Titanic. It was the first time I ever watched the movie. I thought the movie was long and boring. All the other girls were watching it crying. I didn’t cry. I felt like Elaine from Seinfeld when she was bored by watching The English Patient. But I did get the references from that Titanic Newsradio episode. I got sick because I ate too much; I had 3 donuts, gummi bears, peanuts, and Cheetos.

It felt like summer school was so long, but it only seemed to last 3 weeks.

There were also many references to a summer list. I’m not really sure what that was.

Debatable Luck? — July 14, 2018

Debatable Luck?

Tried to get some sleep when somebody rang the doorbell at 3AM I knew it was gonna be one of those mornings. 😑

People keep sending food to be delivered to where we live and its not stuff we ordered. This has happened 3 times already. Perhaps we are being pranked by somebody? The name is not any of our names or anything close to it. My mom thinks somebody in the complex is using our address and lives in another apartment (they have individual addresses)

I tried to tell myself not so much is riding on school. But it really is. I mean that is what got me the last time. I put way too much pressure on myself.

Got the class I wanted sort of, but I’m not sure if my aid went through because if it doesn’t I’m gonna be stuck with no classes and stuff. And the thought of that makes me want to cry. 😭I felt like Sue Heck from The Middle, and the Lou the Renew Raccoon.

I decided not to sign up for debate class until after I meet with a counselor. I don’t want to get suckered into taking a class I don’t need again 😒😞 *sighs* Like that science class I was tricked into taking 10 years ago. It really brought down my GPA.

Then I thought about how yesterday was Friday the 13th and the bad luck happened today.

I read my mom some facebook posts from this person who I think is very whimsical. She was the one who asked to hear them. Then she told me this person was looking for attention by the things that they did or wrote that they did. I’m like; “What?! This person is so cheerful and whimsical!” But like I said I’m so over that now. I’m back to my quiet, boring self, who listens to sad songs. And I’m fine with it.

I’m so done with Pizza Hut’s stuffed crust pizzas. The crust is so thin now. The people working there are trying to convince us that they were always like that . Nice try! Did you get that strategy from Cadbury? When they denied the shrinking size of their eggs.

I have a gripe with crafting school supplies videos. Ok maybe 2. The first one is that when these come out everybody makes the same crafts. There are like 15 videos with paint your own pencils and ombre highlighters. The second one would be when the video tells you how to make (something) school supplies like glitter or fidget spinner school supplies and all the people did was glue school supplies to those things.