Paranormal Distribution — October 31, 2018

Paranormal Distribution

That is a Halloween math joke. A statistics joke.

I didn’t want to wear a costume to school because I didn’t want to fuss with it. I wore my Halloween shirt again. I couldn’t find my pumpkin hair accessories. 😞

I was planning to keep an eye out for people dressed in costumes.

I did some homework while watching Let’s Make a Deal. It was the Halloween episode. Although it was played with families this year. Nowadays they always wear costumes on that show.

I heard on the radio that today is the Red Sox victory parade. I imagined somebody’s costume being a sad Dodger fan.

I had some homework to finish up so I went to the tutoring room. When I get there I was trying to be sneaky I saw there were not a lot of people in there. I was looking around and sat and the emptiest table I could find. Then I realized they were sitting at the table at the opposite corner of me and then they scooted over to where I was. All I really wanted to do was a get the last few problems done. I think I had about 3 left. I just wanted to finish up my work and listen to some music. They wanted me to help explain the problems. I’m not really the person who should be explaining the homework to you. Except the one problem I actually understood. They were also hurriedly doing their homework so I didn’t feel so bad. I saw something yellow run by. I wasn’t sure what it was. I thought it was somebody in a pikachu costume. I was talking to those 2 girls, so I was trying to look at them and not what was running past us. Then I saw it was somebody in a giraffe kigurumi costume skipping by. I’m pretty sure that was the yellow thing I saw run by. They asked if I was doing well in the class. I said “No” I have nothing to hide here. They asked if I was going to drop it. I was not going to. My plan was to stay at the deli and quit math, but instead I quit the deli and stayed in math. (I didn’t tell them about the deli) One of the girls remembered when I said that I failed College Algebra twice. They asked about what happened. I ended up dropping it twice just one time a little more sooner than the other. I got a “W” twice. But I was in bad shape when I dropped it both times. They were talking about taking trigonometry. I’m not touching that. I failed trig in high school twice! I’m not sure if I can take that class. I don’t wanna take a class that is beyond my math ability.

The test was hard and that was scary.

I saw some somebody drew a graph on the board and it said “normal distribution” under that there was a drawing of a ghost and it said “paranormal distribution”. I thought it was kinda funny for a math joke. It made me wonder who wrote/drew it? The teacher? Or someone else?

I didn’t see many people in costumes at school. And some of the people I was not sure if they were wearing a costume or just an eccentric outfit. There was some annoying girl taking a bunch of selfies in the bathroom in the mirror closest to the door.

I didn’t see many people waiting for the bus in costumes on the ride home.

And I don’t need to write Halloween stories in October. I can write them any time of the year. I wrote one this year in March. Just cause you know I feel like it.

I watched some Halloween Home Improvement episodes. Some kids came to my house. Which was funny because there were no porch lights on and we didn’t put up decorations this year. Luckily it was only 2 and nobody came after they did. We did have candy for them.

Memories of Old Costumes — October 30, 2018

Memories of Old Costumes

So I was thinking about some of my past Halloween costumes. I thought I’d go back 30 and 20 years back to Halloween 1988 and 1998.

In 1988 I was Minnie Mouse.

My costume was somewhere between these 2 versions of her.



Since I was 4 my costume consisted of black long sleeve leotard and black tights, white gloves, my Minnie Mouse hat from Disneyland, and a skirt.

My mom took me to the fabric store and let me pick the fabric for the skirt. I picked out a red polka dot fabric. I’ve always been a stickler for details. We put a red bow on the hat because for some reason it has a rose on top instead.

This was before those puffy cartoon style gloves were a thing. I think I didn’t see those type of gloves until the mid 90s.



In 1998 I was a dead saloon girl. I got the idea from seeing one at the Halloween Haunt at Knotts. I pained my face white with black lips and blacked out eye sockets. It looked like I was wearing bad corpse paint. This was appropriate back then, all the kids did it to look “dead”.

Would I dress in these costumes again? Yes I would, but a better version of them. Especially with the makeup. I would not go out in only a leotard and tights on Halloween I’d like to be more covered up. I’d wear a full dress and not be a “topless” Minnie Mouse.

For the saloon girl I’d want a tattered western style dress with a bustle. And some type of prosthetic makeup. I’m not sure if I would want to look “dead”, but definitely with some type of monster face. But definitely not the cutesy, pretty, sexy kind.


Math Plateau? — October 29, 2018

Math Plateau?

I noticed that continually washing my hair after a shift at the deli has wrecked my scalp and now I can’t afford fancy shampoo to remedy it.

I got a complement on my backpack. I’ll take it. ^-^

But I did not fall asleep in class so that was good. ^-^

I don’t care what anybody says a math test on Halloween is scary. Well it is to me. I want to be comfortable so I won’t be wearing a costume or anything like that to class. The less I have to fuss with the better. If you are wearing uncomfortable things you can’t concentrate on the test you are talking.

The drop date is coming up. So “Meh”, just “meh”. Maybe if I still had my job at the deli I would consider dropping the class, but not now.

After I thought about it I’d watch a 7 plus hour post season Angel game all the way through, but nobody else besides them or the Dodgers and the opposing team.

I found this silly article about Halloween candy.

Smarties? They taste like chalk. My dad likes them. (he is also Capricorn)

Later I was replying to something about Depeche Mode online and my mom didn’t get what I thought was so funny. And that what I was doing was cult-like or something. It’s just something I like to do for fun. I just like to hypothesize different scenarios about them with other fans. My mom doesn’t get it. (I do it with other things I like too) When I first started listening to them and reading stuff fans wrote online about them I was worried I had inadvertently joined a cult. Excuse me while I go listen to “Sacred”.


My Bad Luck Your Bad Luck — October 28, 2018
Sporty Angel — October 27, 2018

Sporty Angel

That sounds like the name of a stationary character or the title of an anime.

Wedding Peach is sort of similar to Angel’s Friends with the devil and angel theme. Although it predates Angel’s Friends by many years.

When I was watching Classic Concentration it made me think about when I used to watch it during my month long vacations when I went to year round school. That and Cesar’s Challenge.

I found out the McRib is back just when I’m jobless. 😭

I found this article about 1998 rock songs. I do dislike when they fudge the years a bit. 😡

I was going to post a blog yesterday. But I ended up watching that Long ass World Series game 3. I kept telling myself I would do things after the game was over. Including posting a blog on Friday night. But since it ended at 12:30 AM Pacific time. I didn’t.

I did apply for a few jobs and rewrite my resume. Why did my non-supervisor coworkers get mad that I moved too slow? Besides my bossy coworker and my deli senpai. The person who did it the most who moved pretty slow themselves. They were slow too. What is the point? Then I wondered if I should give this next job my all? Because I feel I should not. I did to my last job and I saw where that got me. Could I sue my old job for ptsd? I could be like a lot of people at my old job and many other jobs a lackadaisical slackass. I’m really trying to zero in on my problems.

Here are what I think they are I could be wrong. I was too expressive looking sad/worried and all that good stuff. My eyes can be a little too expressive sometimes. I needed to be stone or poker faced or vapidly smiling. And that I didn’t talk enough. I think chatty people get hired more, although they might just hire the person just to get them to stop talking. It’s not that I don’t talk. I’m just selective about what I say. I don’t want people all up in my business or mindlessly chatter with someone. (most of the time with the mindless chatter) I talk here in the blog. I’m more eloquent as a writer than verbally anyway.

I thought that the Depeche Mode music helped me to come to terms with that immensely. A little? I’m not sure how much. I can’t say it didn’t help to some degree.

What was I doing? Who was I trying to impress? Those hobbyists? Some people who don’t even know what their goals are collectively and what defines who and what they are. There is just a lot of infighting between them. The funny thing is that now they are complaining about the infighting. When I wanted to join you a few years ago. I could see what was broken and even outsiders can too. They were the only ones who could not see it because they were/are so narrow minded.

I took some time to write some Halloween stuff. It was refreshing even if what I was writing was not that “good”.

My mom asked me if I had touched my math homework. Said I did more of it that if was still working at the deli.

The Dodgers won game 3 but lost game 4 things are looking pretty bleak.

Jobless Sack of Bricks — October 25, 2018

Jobless Sack of Bricks

I watched an old video I had from 1988 and it made me really nostalgic. I think I’ll watch some more tomorrow.

Today it really hit me. I don’t have a job anymore. I mean I was aware of it when I quit and stuff. The strange thing is that I did not exhibit the stages of grief. I think people are supposed to do that?

It was funny because I thought “bad luck October” wasn’t gonna strike me this month/year. Earlier in the month I was reassuring myself that I had a job and stuff and not to get so paranoid this year. Then I get really paranoid about my life.

I had to promise my mom I would not sulk around the apartment listening to Depeche Mode CDs.

Now I gotta rewrite my resume.

I was watching Wedding Peach and I felt really sad.

No Squares To Spare — October 24, 2018

No Squares To Spare

When I’m stressed out I either eat too much or too little. I noticed my clothes are feeling a little tighter. I’m not getting a workout from lifting 50lb boxes of raw chicken anymore and chucking around meat chubs.

I bought more cheap Japanese sodas. I can’t afford the expensive ones anymore.

On the ride to school I was stuck in the back of a stuffy bus. Opened a window. But I will close it if the driver gets mad. I forgot Halloween is in a week from today.

I made up a new challenge for the month of November “go at your own pace month”. Write or draw as little or as much as you want. People get stressed out about these monthly challenges and whatnot. So this one is “no pressure”.

When I got my quiz back it was 1 point higher than I predicted. It was still a bad score, but better than I estimated.

The teacher was making a reference to an old gum commercial in class. And I thought I remembered it because I’m old. It made me feel nostalgic and want to watch it.

When I went to the bathroom. I didn’t notice that there was no paper in the stall. Then I thought a lot of my “bad luck” is usually me not paying attention to things. If I had checked the stall before doing my “toilet business” in there I would have noticed the lack of toilet paper.

I was thinking about the deli. They hired 5 people very close together in time, and so far only kept 2 of them. It’s a good thing they did not waste time training me! XD

It does not look very good for the Dodgers they already lost 2 games.

I ended up finding the commercial on youtube.

Then I remembered a school project I used Winterfresh gum for. You had to make an animal cell out of food, so I used chewed gum. It was pretty easy to work with. And the teacher said different flavors of gum counted as different foods. So half of my project was made out of chewed gum. Winterfresh and Strawberry flavored gum. I think I used a cut orange for the nucleus. It was some kind of citrus fruit.


I Need More Expensive Japanese Soda — October 23, 2018

I Need More Expensive Japanese Soda

My last pay check was overnighted to me and sent to my house today. Wow! that was really fast. I thought I was going to have to wait a week or something. They cut ties with me rather quickly.

I was just happy I was not working at my old job tying to push convenience foods for the people wanting to watch the World Series or slicing meats and cheeses for them. I got to watch the game in peace. Ok not so much with my dad passionately watching it, but still better than getting stressed out in the deli over chicken or something.

I was feeling superstitious and thought I should spill some expensive Japanese soda. The last time I spilled some they won a game during the last World Series. I drank my cheap $1 Pocas soda. Which I think is a knockoff soda or something.

And the Dodgers lost their first game of this World Series. 😭

I knew I needed more Japanese soda!

Crappy Eraser Included — October 22, 2018

Crappy Eraser Included

Early in the morning I felt sick like I ate rocks.

My mom was mad just because I forgot my pencils and stuff. I had emergency pens in my backpack, but I refuse to do math in pen. It’s an old hangup from junior high/high school. When I was in school the teachers would be so mad at you if you used pen in any math class. To me it’s the war on pens in math class that and 1/2 inch width binders. I was having a quiz I needed a pencil.

It took me years to use a pen in my high school classes. Except for the ones where the teacher lecture quickly and I would write down or try to what they said word for word. I’m actually very good at that. At first I had tried pencils for that teacher’s class, but after having the guy for 3 years pens were easier to use. In college I use pens for almost all my classes except foreign language classes and any class where I have to do calculations.

This is a rejected blog title I never got to use “The Bulldog of the Deli”. It’s a Hershiser reference.

When I get to school I had to go to the snack shop to buy a pencil. I asked if they sold separate erasers. The guy tells me “It’s right here!” and points at the eraser at the top of the pencil. He tells me to go to the book store to buy one. I say “Damn!” That is all the way across campus! And uphill mind you. So I bought that pencil and hoped for the best. I still had the pens I could reluctantly use.

So I go the the tutoring center. Usually I just go and sit there and listen to some Depeche Mode while I try to study math or try to do math homework. Especially on days when we have quizzes. I see some girl wave at me. At first I thought she was just being friendly with me. After I thought about it she’s from my class. Then she asks if I understood the problems. Honestly I’m really not the person anybody should be asking math questions to. Ok simple stuff that doesn’t have variables. Although I did sort of know how to set up the equation. I just couldn’t find all the variables. While the tutor was explaining the problem to the girl from my class. I thought I heard the voice of my deli senpai. But that made no sense. He doesn’t go to school here. When I looked over I saw it was just some guy with a similar voice. Then I got really sad for some reason.

Some girl sitting near me asked us what class are we taking we said Statistics. I recognized her book. It’s a College Algebra book. She asked if we could help her. I said I failed that class twice. Which is true. Did I even get to that part of the class subject she was struggling with? I think I did last semester.

The pencil itself was ok, but the eraser was horrible and didn’t erase well at all. I was so frustrated using it. When I took the quiz I was too distracted on the crappiness of the eraser and how poorly it erased. I just hoped he could read my answers.

I was really craving red licorice during my math class. I thought I’d pick some up at my old job.

After school I went to my old job to turn in my name tag. Everything just felt awkward. It was a strange feeling. I was not “one of them” anymore. I really didn’t want anybody to know what I was doing in there on my “day off”. The feeling is bittersweet. I feel stupid for not being able to last long there, but that place was driving me nuts! I think my problem was I was giving too much to the job and putting too much of myself into it. The candy helped a little bit. Some people need alcohol, or cigarettes, or drugs. Perhaps I should have drank “pageant crack” before my shift? 🤔 At the end of my last 2 shifts there I was on the verge of tears on the ride home. Although I was told I was terminated? Plus I needed to buy stuff there. It was weird walking around the store looking for items. I ran into some people I used to work with. I told them that I quit. I figure the more news gets spread around about me the better. I don’t work there anyway. People can gossip and say what they want about me. I don’t wanna step foot in that store for at least a month. You know like as a customer.

My dad was bragging about how he used to do his math homework in pen because he was so confident in his work. XoX

When I’m Gone — October 21, 2018

When I’m Gone

Now that I’m free it made me wonder if they really missed me there in the deli. Not like I think I was super popular there or an integral part of the deli. But you know somebody has to take out those chickens and throw out the old food. When I worked there I never once missed a day. I really didn’t have a problem with most of the employees there. Part of me felt it was gonna be temporary and that I didn’t want to get too attached to the people there.

The one word to describe that place would be “inconsistency”. Not “hell” or “pain” or “punishment” or anything like that. That was the thing that really bothered me was I would get told different things by the people in charge. It was so confusing. 😖😵XoX

Oh yeah and now I don’t have to bother with those annoying sample people.

All that is behind me now. *sighs in relief*

My apologies to my deli senpai if you had to clean the deli yesterday in my absence. 😢

I think there are a few loose ends I still have to tie up there, but I’m essentially free.

Now I gotta figure out a way to get that deli stench out of my possessions.