I cried myself to sleep at the thought of it. Maybe those naysayers were right. I am a failure. 😭

I’ve been trying for like 4 years now? I just wanna angrily throw away all my supplies. It was gonna be hard to get started here. Its not popular in this part of the USA. Its an obscure hobby in general.

I don’t even care about my AA. I could take it or leave it. If this was one of those deal things where a character gives up something for something else. If I was told I could graduate college, but I could never pursue my secret hobby. I’d take the never graduate college. If you would have asked me that 3 years ago I think I probably would have said college over the hobby.

And I still feel I took the wrong major in general. Not just in relation to the hobby. What could I really do with this? It was interesting to me, but so what?

I really wanted this to be my life’s calling. I didn’t even care if it was not my day job. I wouldn’t mind doing this on the side and working at another stupid deli or something.

Maybe I’m not even doomed to be a bridesmaid. I’m the delusional single woman who owns a wedding dress and hoards bridal magazines.

Oh well there’s always writing.